that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No subtext here. People are naked.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
