Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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