Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
