it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
