Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
