i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
