I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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