yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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