I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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