In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
