Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
