if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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