hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
