then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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