JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
no you cant smoke seaweed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
