Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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