Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
