Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
