You really coming over, don't trick.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
