She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
