I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
