quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
false alarm. still invincible.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
