you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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