If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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