I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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