fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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