She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
