my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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