Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
