How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
