Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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