it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
