Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
