come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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