Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
