I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
farters have to be the big spoon...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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