Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
