i permit you to call me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
