it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
