I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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