I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
