pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
