Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
