Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
