Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
