you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
