I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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