you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
