matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
