i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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