So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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