just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i think my cat just said my name.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
