Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
