And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize