Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
