Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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