I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
