I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
